Thursday, February 4, 2010
nature garden fo sho
Why would i sign up for this you ask?
I had no choice.
In my school we have this project called Enrichment, and what this includes is the fact that you have to do hours for community and because this is considered a conservation project it counts or something. Anyways, today wasn't the first time i went.
I went two weeks before (on my birthday mind you) and i dragged along 3 of my friends (i feel soo bad for that now...)
When we get there, there is this fat chick with fish lips and an ass that sticks out, a smaller one who has this 'stare of death' look all the time and a fat gayboy, and it appeared that he kept hitting on the teacher or something.
So we sit down and so do the nature freaks. The teacher tells us to go down to the garden *dump* to have a look before the session. Us four get up all trying to hide our laughter and follow the other three.
Before i go on, i would like to point out that none of the other lot said anything at all to us and when we walked down to the 'garden area' they all walked separately not even talking to each other I MEAN COME ON. SOCIALIZE?
Whatever i doubt they even know the concept of a conversation but anyways: we get to the nature garden, and let me describe :) hehehe
For starters, it is behind the maintenance block which is full of creepy indian guys and teachers who smoke there. It is littered with screws, metal wires and fucking shreds of plastic, and yes, it looks like a slum. The 'garden' itself is a little plot of derelict land which floods whenever it rains. It is next to the workers car park and about 100 meters from the garbage containers with leftover canteen food. It has two little gates and crappy bushes round the edge. Before i go on i would like to take a moment to say:
EPIC FAIL.
I would like to also point out that there were inconcentric circles of building bricks scattered in the middle, which was supposed to have a statue on it. (btw yes i changed my font).
Let me add a photo to roughly illustrate:
Now, that looks like absolute
SHIT right? ok so maybe it wasnt that bad but tomato tomatoh :)
At this point in time me and my friends are at stitches
Because
1) The really weird people
2) The really shitassrapedup garden
3) The fact that we were even in this activity
Well we head back to the classroom, but this is when it starts.
turns out the little bitch with the death stare went home to cry to her mommy and daddy about how the big kids were making fun of her beloved activity.
WHAT THE FUCKING HELL SERIOUSLY!?
ITS NOT MY FAULT YOUR SHITTY GARDEN DOESNT LOOK LIKE THIS
OR THAT YOU YOURSELF ARE JUST A SOCIAL REJECT (u_u)!?
And guess what happens next? we end up in shit. THREE teachers tell us off for making 'that poor little innocent cocksucking motherfucker BITCH cry' UGH IT REALLY PISSED ME OFF
OK SO MAYBE WE WERE TAKING THE PISS? BUT CAN YOU BLAME US? IT LOOKS CRAP
and above all, so what little girl? we made fun of something you like: MOVE ON. Dont cry about it. for fucks sake? but you know what makes it even worse!?!?!?! she claimed that she really loved and enjoyed this shitty activity, so then this week when me and one of my friends (the other two quit) went again we had to put coconut hair on the ground or something (it looked so bad, someone should tell these people that a chewbacca floor = not very in right now) and she just THREW IT ON FROM MIDAIR. WTF. YEAH DEDICATION MY BIG BLACK ASSSS!!!?!?! AND! the coconut hair was obviously blown away by the wind and bits ended up in my face and my friends hair. As for the fat bitch and the gaylord they did NOTHING. The gay one kept asking the teacher super weird innapropriate questions which had nothing do with anything and the fatty kept calling her mom so she could be on the phone 'and look cool'.
Seriously bad.
laterz
xx :)
Sunday, January 31, 2010
NO FATTIES!
Hey People!
This article made me laugh so much, i just had to post about it! i dont care if its copyright infringement or whatever you call it i find it well fucking hilarious:
i copied this from worthlessthoughts.com
Scientists, according to The Sun, have finally realized the global menace that fatties are: “the increase in big-eaters means more food production—a major cause of CO2 gas emissions warming the planet.” Ah, ha! The obese are responsible for global warming. I knew it.
With further expertise on the subject Dr Phil Edwards, of the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, said: “Moving about in a heavy body is like driving in a gas guzzler.” On top of that, these chunky-monkeys actually drive gas guzzlers in order to, as Tye Pennington would say if he hosted The Biggest Looser, “MOVE THAT ASS.”
What, you think they’ll fit into a Honda Fit?
How awful, reprehensive, and evil—these meaty mates should be punished for their crimes against humanity and mother earth!
In my recent post, Tax the Flatulent Humans Not the Cheddar Cutting Cows, I encouraged politicians to do a “one-cheek-sneak and impose a tax on” people given to “frequent spreading of their colon-cologne.” These people are, inevitably, excessive consumers of food. These tubby trains should pay for their porky persistence.
To rid the world of this chunky cargo, the big and beautiful must pay, they must pay their full-figured mass in a hefty tax. A tax that forces the pack of franks from their neck into the government’s corpulent coffers.
Anyways, i laughed so much
But you know, this article got me thinking. It is true. Think about the amount of food a fat person shoves down their pie hole. More than thin ones right? Now you might all be like 'oh youre so mean its not their fault suck my cock blablabla' THIS MAKES MY EARS BLEED. IT IS THEIR OWN FAULT FOR SHOVING SO MUCH FUCKING MICKEY-DS DOWN THEIR TRAP. SERIOUSLY EAT AN APPLE INSTEAD OF A 'big mac super size combo meal' you really do not need it! IT LACKS NUTRIENTS, IT DOESNT EVEN TASTE THAT GOOD AND GUESS WHAT?
IT MAKES YOU
ABSOLUTELY
DISGUSTING
FAT. FAT.FAAAAT
Now i'll admit when i was a child i was chubby, but then i got to my fucking senses and realized that being fat is worse than anything else
it sucks.
SO I LOST WEIGHT
AND ALOT OF WEIGHT
i lost 15kgs in 2 months. Damn right to all you fatties out there (coff usa coff) MAKE A CHANGE. Lose that flab, coz with it you will never get laid. Youll end up like Edward Cullen, a 107 year old virgin. and im sure you dont want that do you?
SO GO TO THE GYM
xx
Thursday, January 21, 2010
stupid idiots!
If you do not like swearing or slurs go away because i use them excessively. :)
yeah so fuck off you bitch whore motherfucking testicle shitter.
ok well not so excessively :P...
ANYWAYS, onto my point. Today at school during free period me and three of my (girl)friends were sitting in the common room when this jackass piece of shit invades and just sits down with us, as he did the day before (yes he has no friends in free period). Onto the point, so he sits down and one of my friends walks away already because she DETESTS that cunt and the other two and me stay. After a while of playing some retarded avatar game on his scratched iphone he holds it up with the camera facing me and he was like: HYUK HYUK I CAN SEE YOU NAKED HAHAHA THIS APP STRIPS YOUR CLOTHES.
fucking dork. who does he think he is!? he is undoubtedly one of the ugliest guys ive ever laid eyes on! im serious he has a non existant nose bridge and looks like a cross between a baboon and the blue octopus from spongebob! AND IM A GUY. WHY WOULD HE WANT TO SEE ME NAKED?
Well whatever we just walked off when he said i can see you naked. However being mildly intrigued at whether it was actually true (i mean, they have those things at airports in europe) i grabbed his iphone and aimed it at my friends. nothing happened. WTH SEE HES SO FUCKING LAME HE JUST MADE IT UP I SWEAR HE WANTED CHEAP ATTENTION!!!!! but whatever i aimed it at him and he started giggling and snatched the phone back. we had relocated by this time to the central area of the common room, where it was baboon-octopus free. YESS no diseases here!
We spoke too soon. when we settled in that dickfucker walked in and sat down next to me. The same friend who ditched before ditches again and goes to a computer. Me and another friend make gestures for him to fuck off and the other one was too polite. tsk tsk. no balls.
About five minutes pass and then he starts talking, i didnt listen to what he was saying but eventually he talks about people scaring him so i join and i say: russians and arabs scare me (well the ones ive met). He goes hysterical with the arab comment and he goes AHAHAHAAH TERRORISTS HAHAHAHA WTH!?!?! fucking idiot!? and then he was like 'so have you been in a real relationship before?'(COMPLETELY RANDOM) i look at him and dont reply and then hes like yeah i almost fucked this russian girl (my thought: yeah almost until she saw your dick and fled at the miniscule size of it, and why would she even consider him?! WAS SHE BLIND?!) and who says its even true!?
After that stupid comment we all get up and leave him there all by himself :) stupid loner. for the rest of the period he walks round the common room looking for people to talk to, but oh poor baboon... so lonely, so lonely... (n_n)
OMG ALSO. he has this shitty blog himself, on which he posts his 'poetry'. That shit is worse than AIDS. Anyone who lays eyes on it will probably die of laughter or die of depression that people like that have access to blogspot too. AND! OMFG its full of errors!? GO LEARN ENGLISH IDIOT.
grrr okay well im about done with my rant
i think this entry got kind of boring towards the end so i might as well wrap it up. and continue staringatmylavalampyayayayay :D!!!!
xx